Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Mama Laadi's

Our girls with Mama Laadi


Mama Laadi was such a dynamic woman. When we drove up to the compound there was this crazy dude opening the door for us to drive into the compound...he kept sticking his chest out and saluting. I asked him if I could take his picture and he said "Oh yes...I like it" and he posed for a couple of pictures..in one he is saluting. He is ex military he says and is very proud of it.
Romana told me a story that she was out with Mama Laadi visiting families and at one point in the day, she looked down and Mama Laadi's shoes were gone.... she will literally take off her shoes and give them to someone else who needs them.

Keith noticed that in the south, in Accra, where there is relative wealth there is more of a Christian presence, in the north where there is more poverty, the majority is Muslim. Why is that? I don't know the answer for sure, but it seems to me that we, as Christians, are just not doing our job of spreading His word. I can't say that I have done my part in the area of Kingdom building.
Although Worldvision was representing...They have a huge presence up in the North and I know that samaritan's purse and their totally awesome Operation Christmas Child is out ministering in force to kids in Ghana. Mama Laadi and Pastor John are also living His word everyday. There is a mission group coming out here in a couple of months to work with Beacon House and Mama Laadi's foster home. I was so glad to hear about it. They will have such a wonderfull time.
There are those that are called to do mission work and those that provide resources to them. We definitely provide resources...we give money every month to more than one child-centered Christain Internationa Relief fund...but we can still do more. I am so thankfull that God has put adoption in my heart and I am so thankful for all of the wonderfull things in my life....I always feel like I can do more.

Trip to Bolgatanga





I have no idea who these women are - but they were in the girl's family compound area. B didn't know who they were. I didn't want to post pictures we took of their extended family, because I am not 100% sure it is OK.
These are the neghborhood kids at the well getting water.


This is the entrance to the compound, I think our girls lived in the second door on the right. We did not see the inside of any of them.

OK...this is going to be an exhausting post. It was an exhausting day. We got up at 3am, got ready and then sat around for 30 minutes. Then the hotel van took us to pick of the girls at Beacon House. We went to the airport (met up with Bernard) and caught the 6am flight up to Tamale (TAM-eh-lee). Our driver met us at the airport and we drove straight to Bolga which was about 2 hours. We all kind of snoozed the whole way up there.
The scenery was eactly what you would expect from "Africa". It was very Savannah, there were ginormous ant hills, sparse trees, goats, pigs and cows roaming in the street. We went through several villages with dilapidated shacks on the side of the road ad women selling weird looking food off of their heads. My favorite is the battered and fried fish that still has scales and eyeballs on them...and that was the thing I recognized.
We saw lots of giant trucks with people just piled up in them and hanging off of the back, there were tro tro's with goats on top of them. We passed a world vision headquarters....yeah worldvision.
The girls' family lived in Bolgatanga, itself, that is kind of the big city...although it didn't feel like it to us! Because it was the big city, the visit ended up being a lot shorter than other people's visits....life just kind of went on around us. In smaller villages when you show up with the kids, there is a lot of ceremony and a party. This was just us talking to the family...2 uncles, and aunt and a grandmother. As soon as we got off the airplane, B got really animated, talking about seeing her grandmother and she got really excited about it...she was the most talkative I had seen her ...then she went to sleep! When we got there, she didn't really want to get out of the car. When she did, she didn't want to talk to them at all. I finally coaxed her into some pictures.
We had brought a bunch of little toys for her to give to her friends there...so we got them out and I said lets go over to the well and give your toys to your friends. She walked over to an area on the other side of the car and just stood there and pouted and said "I want them to come here". I convinced her to go over to where the kids were. That interaction kind of confirmed for me that this visit was not exactly how she had dreamed it would be.
I don't for a second know what she is going through...but I do know you can never go backwards and it is never the same when you try to go back...no matter where it is that you are going.
After the family house, we went to Mama Laadi's foster home. It is a christian foster home/orphanage that takes children who need help. I couldn't tell exactly, but I don't think our girls actually ever live there. I think that because of V's health, their family brought them here and Mama Laadi contacted Romana and they went to Accra and Beacon House very quickly. Anyhow, it is great to meet a woman who lives her life for children....she has quite a generous spirit and I was very impressed with what she is doing and how she is doing it.
Then we headed 2 hours back to Tamale where we were staying. The drive back was HOT. Yes, I am a baby. We have been staying in this hot country for the last 6 days and there is rarely any A/C. Our hotel room and the Accra Mall is about it. The car that picked us up at the Tamale airport had A/C....it was so nice...but it broke about 20 minutes into our drive back and I was hot. 4 people in the back seat with a 20 month old on my lap the whole time. The guest house we stayed at was nice-ish. I kept feeling like I was in an Indiana Jones movie...that has really been the theme of this week. We did have A/C in our hotel room...we also had a giant multi-colered iguana thing living in our a/c unit and it kept scurrying around and every once in a while I would look up and see it's ginormous feet.
We braved the dinner at the guest house, it was fried (thoroughly like...dry)chicken and white rice with Peppe sauce. Yum. I love the spiciness here. I bought a cook book at the Accra mall and plan on making some peppe sauce...it calls for 12 cayenne peppers! Breakfast did not get eaten by me...the girls ate it...it was an omelet and toast...Keith and I did eat the toast. Then it was back to the airport and back to Accra. I may do some more posts throughout the day on the experience. It was interesting to say the least and there are lots of little stories that don't really fit into this sort of narrative. Anyway, we are back and I appreciate our awesome little hotel even more today than I did before we left!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Introducing....

Benedicta Byrne-Cox
Veronica Byrne-Cox

We were granted an interim adoption order this morning at about 7am with permission to travel. Yeah! Now it is passports, I600's and emmigration visas. We have only just begun! We had a great day...obviously.
Keith went to court this am and i slept in. In fact I was still asleep when Keith came back to tell me we had our girls!
Then we went over to Beacon House and I cuddled with Veronica while Benedicta was in class.
Benedicta's class was on a fruit break when we got there and she ran up to us and hugged us and was her happy little self again. I was a tad worried about it. After school and lunch was nap time. While the girls took a nap, we (and the other adoptive family) went to the big Accra mall...it is a nice western style mall with a food court! Yeah! We did a little bit of shopping and then went to pick up the girls.
Again, I must warn any parents coming here to meet their kids....bring a toy watch for them....apparently that equals love and they cost like $20 for a stupid Barbie watch at "Game"...a south african store at the Accra Mall.
We got the girls and took a taxi to the Art market...which is little stalls of people selling crafts....here is where i would put the pictures if Keith or I had actually taken any....ouch. We are back to our old ways. We are going to go back before we leave (probably) to pick up a ghanaian nativity set which was super cool. So we will take pictures. B was sooo good at the market. We told her ahead of time that she could pick out one thing. We went and she started with I want this, i want this and I reminded her one thing. So we walked around and looked at things for about 45 minutes, then she picked out her one thing. She was very, very, very well behaved. Tomorrow we head to Bolgatanga. It will be really nice to have the girls to ourselves for a full 24 hours.
This entire trip we have been totally in the grip of His grace. Every little logistical thing has fallen perfectly into place...from frantically looking for a hotel and finding the one we are using - to finding out one week before we left that Keith's job has an adoption reimbursement benefit! Our girls are so completely a perfect fit for our family - it is amazing. Everyday I thank God for my family and now I have 20% more children to be thankfull for.
I know we are only half done with our trip.....and I have discovered about 5 days is as long as my heart can take being away from my other babies. We have been so blessed to have our super awesome babysitting neighbor/ extended family....so I know that the kids barely miss US at all! In fact, they probably won't want to come home on Saturday! We are doing skype, but it is so hard to watch Benjamin trying to grab my hand on the the other end...although skype is great for peek a boo and blowing kisses. it just can't substitute for the real thing!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Church Day

Today is Sunday....church day. We went to church with the kids from Beacon House. This is a half built church...I am not sure for how long they have been building it...but they meet here anyway. They don't have walls, or windows, or media equipment. They have about 5 big poster flip picture books of bible stories, 2 children's pastors, and an inexhaustable supply of patience. Church for the kids went from 1030 to about noon...the grown up church was going on for much longer. This church is actually right across the street from Simple Brothers and the little corner store. This puts the commitment to living the Gospel into perspective. This is an unfinished church with little money in it's budget - for sure. Every Sunday, they open their doors (where their doors would be at least) to the local orphans who come in and hear the word of God. They supply them with fresh water and an occasional toy if they are able to remember their bible verse. This is not the Kid's Kingdom we are used to. It was inspiring to see the commitment THIS church has to stopping for the one child in front of them, the commitment to kingdom building. We talked to the Children's pastor for a while and will do what we can to get some supplied to him. Our children are being raised as Christians and have a commitment to God because of their commitment. It was a good morning with some eye opening.

After church, we were able to take the girls for lunch and swimming. We went right across the streetto Simple Brothers and ate it at the corner store while I drank a delicious coke from the bottle and B had an Orange Fanta. It was amazing to see what little was left of the chicken bone after B was done with it. We sat out at the corner store and listened to a lot of the grown up church across the street.

Then we came back to our hotel room and finished eating. Air conditioning, a full tummy, and little bit of cuddles unlocked V. She started making faces at us, and really smiling and interacting with us. It was a huge, huge, huge breakthrough. She started saying a ton more sounds. I even got her to say Mama and Dada...but she probably doesn't know what they mean. While we were at our hotel room she was like a new child. It was amazing.

Then we went swimming and it was nice and cool as usual. We spent a lot more time playing around. Keith through B up in the air a couple of times and she liked that. We got a head start on the other family because they didn't take their kids straight from church, they waiting until after nap time to pick them up (around 3 pm). By the time the other kids got to the pool, it was time for us to go. I know B wanted to stay and play with her friends...but this time is family time and we are going to use it as such. After swimming the girls got a shower (V got a bath), lots of lotion on their skin and we watched High School Musical 2. I would say it took about 5 minutes for V to fall asleep and 30 minutes for B to go down.

When it was time to head back to Beacon House, we woke up B. We probably should have woke her up sooner ( she slept about 30 minutes). I had to change V from the cute onesie i had her in back to her church dress....it was also very cute, but it was dusty and a little smelly and my bathed, freshly lotioned up little girl was so cute in her pink flowered onesie...I didn't want to change her back and take her back. We had to get B's shoes on and then we started back.

B is pretty silly and although she doesn't talk a whole lot, she does like to kind of hop around a little bit and hang on her dad. As we left the Hotel compound I looked down at a very solemn little girl and saw her crying. We stopped and I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong...but she just clamed up....not a single word. She just walked very quietly with tears rolling down her face.

When we got back to the orphanage, we tried to talk to her to see what was wrong, but she just ried to run away, we kept her in the office with us for a few minutes, then we let her run off. So much was running through our heads. Was she attaching to us more than just other white people who come and take them swimming, was she stressed out and depressed because she had to go back to Beacon House after such a fun day, was she worried about not really ever being able to go to America with us, was she feeling guilty about wanting me to be her mom (betraying her bio mom)? Was she just tired and sad about not getting to see the climactic finale of High School musical 2....that crazy Sharpei...what fabulous thing will she do next.

In any case, we talked to Romana about it and she said it is totally normal for the kids to act out like that off and on during the visit so quit being such a worry wort! Ok....it was really, really hard to take the girls back today. It is going to stink in a big way to leave on Friday. Especially since we get them all to ourselves for our trip up to Bolga on Tuesday - Wednesday.

Sorry for the limited pictures...our girls are in almost all of the shots today. Tomorrow morning around 7 am our time (1am in Alabama), Keith and the other Adoptive dad will go in front of the judge to get our adoption judgements. I hope we get good news. If so...there will be some pictures to look at tomorrow!




Saturday, February 6, 2010

Day 3 in Ghana




These are the guys at Simple Brothers, the place we have eaten 90% of our meals. It is so delicious and super spicy...it is like $1.50 to $2.00 for a big old carton of spicy rice with 2 pieces of fried chicken. We totally love it. Here is the building (if you can call it that)




Yummm. I don't know if they are open on Sunday, i am sure we will find out tomorrow. If not, the hotel really does have good food in their restaraunt...it is just pricier and takes a lot longer. We are so fortunate to have so many food options within walking distance. Simple brothers is about a block away and half way between our hotel and Simple Brothers is a little corner store which has a covered area with a little table. We buy soda and cookies there. You have to drink the soda there because of the bottle deposit. It feels very Indiana Jones to be sitting there drinking our soda eating our chicken and rice and listening to the booming African music coming out of these giant speakers. Today Keith started talking to the owner of the corner store...turns out he is from Atlanta! Small world.


Look at my mann changing a tire on a landrover. When we got to Beacon House today to pick up the girls to take them swimming, the other adoptive parent was elbow deep in changing a flat tire. He was having some trouble with a stuck lug nut so my strong man took of his shirt and got the lug nut off. A knowledge of levers is my husbands super power. Unfortunately, they had to readjust the jack and he got his finger smooshed. As Keith was coming into the house with his wounded hand, he heard some of the little boys telling B that her dad was super strong. I think that might have made the smooshed hand worth it!


I had a small cow...but a little soap and water, IPA, neosporin and band aid later...I stopped hyperventilating. Although, I am still considering starting him on the antibiotics I brought - i just don't think Zithromax will do much for a skin infection! After the jack accident, I made Keith stop and we left the rest of the tire change to the other AP on scene!


We brought the girls back to the hotel for swimming. B loved her new bathing suit. She was a little skittish getting into the water. She didn't want to get in with me she wanted to wait for Dad to finish putting his sunscreen on and get in with him. She is kind of turning into a daddy's girl. She got into a little inner tube and we pulled her around and spun her around. When the other kids got there (the other family brought their 2 bio kids, the 3 kids they are adopting and one other child) we decided to head in to watch movies. We have quickly discovered that when other kids are around, B wants to socialize with them more than us ...and this time is meant for us to bond as a family. So I am really trying to keep us in a family group.


V did great at the pool. I think she hasn't been exposed to a lot of men, she gets upset sometimes when Keith holds her and then immediately calms down when I pick her up. Of course, that makes me feel good...but I think it is more a function of her not having any male caregivers.


Although I know it is hard to tell, Ithink I had a breakthrough of sorts with V today. In the past, she just kind of goes to anyone and anyone one person is basically like any other person. I did hear that she had a very special bond with a volunteer that was here for several months but recently left. V has a big, intense, and kind of pensive stare. She always looks like she is suspicious. Today when we were in the room watching movies, I was holding her and I caught her looking up at me with a new look. It was the same look I saw on Zeb, the second day I was there with him, it was the same look I saw on Polina when I held her...it was the inquisitive.."You are someone more than a regular caregiver" I guess it wasn't the "Will you be the one who loves me" look that Polina had...but it was a change, it was an acknowledged look...there was something new in that look. When we dropped them off tonight, V smiled and waved and said bye bye in a new way. All of the nannies in the room got really excited about her behavior and one of them called another nanny in to watch V wave goodbye to me.


B lost her first toy today. We took her doll to the pool, she had asked a million times if she could take her doll in the pool and of course we said no. We said the doll could come to the pool and watch us swim, but under no circumstances could the doll go in the water. She pushed her first boundary, the doll's head ended up gettin dunked in the pool and she lost the toy. I don't know how big of a deal it was to her, but she will find that we do what we say we are going to do and our boundaries are real.


After swimming B got a warm shower and V got a bath and I put some lotion on them and some new clothes. I know, it is shallow, but I kind of made my little girls into MY little girls before I had to take them back to Beacon House. We watched Barbie and the Diamond Castle...OK...I really like that movie and I really like the songs...I can't help it...it has good songs - so sue me!
We may have also eaten some M and M's. Oh yeah, before the movie we skyped O and Lilianna, Zeb, and Ben so they could meet their new sisters live and in person on the computer. B was really shy and quiet. Lilianna was sooo excited. Lilianna is just soo excited to have new sisters. Today was really wonderfull, but it was sooo hard to take the girls back. I just hope they can come home soon.




Friday, February 5, 2010

Court day in Ghana

You may notice a distinct lack of pictures of the girls on my blog! We went to court today. We got dressed up and picked up the girls at Beacon House around 730 this morning. They already had on their super cute court oufits....picked out by an ingenious shopping machine (yes...me). B, V, Keith and I got into a taxi to go to court while the other family rode with the Beacon House escort extraordinaire, Bernard. After about an hour and 15 minutes in a sweltering hot backseat with a baby in my (Ok mostly in keith's) lap I was starting to wonder if the taxi driver actually knew where he was taking us. Finally, we pulled up in front of a building and he said "ok this is it...international health clinic". UM....we are going to court. To which he replied..."Oh the high court or a different court"...I don't know! What the heck! So he drives about 2 more blocks and says..I think this is it.

So we pile out of the car and start looking around for Bernard and the other family. We are the only peach people for miles and we start freaking out just a tad...we don't have any cell phones or phone numbers to call anyone (not because they weren't provided by our awesome coordinator...but because we are stupid).

After about 30 - 45 seconds of panicking, B says..."Mom, this is the right place, we were here last time...I show you". So B saved the day. About 15 minutes later Bernard and the other family show up and we proceed to wait about 2 hours in the sweltering African heat in a 2 story wooden building with a couple of ceiling fans and some slat windows through which we can see the ocean.

Finally, the judge starts calling the adoption cases into her chamber, unfortunately, her air conditioning has gone out, it is Friday afternoon, and she decides that she isn't going to issue any adoption decrees today because well...because she can. The dad's are going back before court starts on Monday to get her verdict. The ladies get to stay at the air conditioned hotel and sleep in. Ain't life grand!
 
If you would like to say a prayer for our adoption decrees on Monday - I would be so gratefull!  Our adoption coordinator has a theory about spiritual warfare and it involves computers and other electronic equipment that dies for no apparent reason.  So today's postponement of our decrees by a faulty air conditioner definitly falls under the spiritual warfare doctrine!  Don't think for one second that I didn't sit out in the court waiting room and pray for a circle of angels to surround the judges air conditioner and make it work! 

All in all, the girls did so well today. I think that most older children have some unrealistic expectations when it comes to being adopted by an American Mom and Dad...they expect that they will have every toy they could ever imagine....that will take a while to convince her otherwise...especially since Keith and I have a tendency to spoil our kids just a tad! B is a total drama queen and so happy. She takes correction so well.  She is a total gem.  V is still in her shell a little bit, I think. We got a couple of smiles today, but she is taking a while to come out. She is still very small and a tad lethargic. She is walking, sitting, etc by herself, but she is not a very vigorous little girl. She definitely needs to come home soon.

We went to buy our plane tickets to the North...that is going to be a fun adventure. We are going on Tuesday morning and coming back Wed morning. Tomorrow we have the morning to ourselves and then we are picking up the girls to come play in the pool at our hotel in the afternoon. I have promised B some MandM's...so I guess I better quit eating them and save some for her tomorrow.

This is such a crazy adventure there are so many loving children here...everyone just wants attention and cuddles. We are exhausted, but having a great time....we ate at a road side stand last night for dinner (It was vouched for by American teachers at the American International School)...they have chicken and rice and they have chickens running around the building everywhere. We are going to have to take a picture and post it...because you will not believe this place. Anyhow...the food was awesome and totally spicy...and it DIDN'T make us sick!

I am done rambling for now...I am hoping we can post pictures of the girls on Monday!

Meeting kids for the first time!


Here is theSonant Court Hotel we are staying at. It is the Sonant Court hotel and is literally 3 blocks from Beacon House. We got into Accra right on time at 735 this morning. All of our luggage made it! Yeah! It was a long flight, but the little breakfast croissant they served was primo! Customs was pretty easy, we sailed right through. The Hotel had a minivan waiting for us and the other family we were travelling with. We piled into the very nice air conditioned minivan and rolled on in to Christain Center, East legon. The hotel is nice...I have a picture of keith lounging on the bed while I frantically prepared all of our stuff for the walk to the orphanage. We had about an hour to get things ready. We brought the clothes for the girls to wear in court tomorrow and some of the items we brought for Romana from home. Here is our dusty walk......

Here is Beacon House. Right before we went in. A volunteer from michigan is here for 6 months and she came to the hotel to pick us up and walk us over. We got there about 1030 this morning. Rang the doorbel and came into the little compound. They had secluded our children upstairs so that they weren't runningaround in the playground when we walked in. We met Romana and she told us alittle bit about what to expect tomorrow in court. She is going to talk to each of the families separately at some point soon...likely tomorrow about specifics of their children's background. After we talked to Romana in the office for about 30 minutes. ...

We were led to the volunteer office, the other family was taken to the baby house. Then one of the volunteers brough in our children so we could meet each other for the first time. One of the German volunteer brough in B...she kept peaking around the corner, and then darting away. Then she shyly rolled around the door fram with her face hidden in her hands against the wall. It was a happy, shy, sweet little girl that peered at me over her hands. Still with her face mostly hidden by her hands she said "Hi Mom". This was a moment I had been worried about, maybe obsessed over a little bit...what would be the right way to introduce yourself to your new 8 year old daughter. Keith had said don't worry you will know what to do....surprise, surprise, Keith was right. I was just as dramatic and excited as could be...."B, come here, you are so beautiful I am just so excited to finally meet you" and gave her a big hug. Then she threw herself on my lap and buried her beautiful little head in my shoulder. We just cuddled while I asked her questions about herself. She didn't answer many of them with much more than a uhhuh or no. At least not for our first visit of the day.Where was V you may wonder? The volunteer brought her in at the ver beginning nd handed her over to Keith while I was coaxing B into the room. V just sat calmly and snugly in keith's lap. She didn't fidget much...just watching with her ginormous dark brown eyes taking everything in. She came over and sat on my lap a little bit later and went straight to sleep.We gave B the little photo album we had made and went through it with her. Then she wanted to go show everyone her photo album..so we went back into the outdoor play area where everyone came up to ask us if we were B and V's mom and dad. It got a little bit raucous..but it was good. We met lots of kids.At noon they had lunch and I fed V...they had some delicious smelling rice, fish, bean concoction...it smelled very new orleans soul food. Then we left so they could take a nap. We went to exchange some money, then stopped at a corner store..literally on the corner and got a delicious coke in a bottle. Of course, we are not allowed to take the bottle out of the store because of the deposit! So we drank it there and then headed back to the hotel for a quick nap.Around 3pm we went back to the orphanage. The girls were waiting for us. B alternates playing hard to get and wanting to be the center of attention. We started seeing a much sassier pair of girls in the afternoon. We brought a coloring book and some crayons back to play with B. She wanted to do it outside with the other kids andthat soon became an overwhelming mass of children's hands wanting crayons and pages...it got out of hand rather quickly, so we went back into tht office. We finally got to see V smiling and being silly - making silly faces. That was good. B also started getting more comfortable as Keith rough housed a little with her and we played gang up on dad and tickle him...a favorite for children of all ages.Tomorrow is court and i hope...hope ...hope that I will be legally able to post the pictures from today...It was kind of surreal but a lot of exciting.Oooh...we are getting more adventurous. In addition to going to a corner store today, for dinner, we ate at a crazy take out window (which was vouched for my the american teachers and the american international school) called Simple Brothers. We got rice and chicken to go and it was sooo delicious and spicy...wooowie was it spicy! We aren't sick yet so that is a good sign. It was really, really good!